Qalqalah Sugra

I just realized that I enjoyed living much better now Not in the sense that i love "life" or "dunya" -still hate it a bit, ha It's just got this feeling of a relief And this 'dakwa' thing got me hooked never thought it's gonna be now, in this state maybe I'm talking this as if I'm talking to particular person so omoita that's what i thought but it's just when you really wanna do something but you don't know or not sure of it it's just good feeling in the middle of night in the absence of other people and your own expectation i'm not preaching, i promise I just feel the breeze of sigh for a while dunno till when hope it won't go that fast hey, this could be a lyric of a song will i get back on it mou...tabun.. well, perhaps and about that japanese song i really wanna continue on that one and there somes the negative thoughts again and again just, stop it already i am feeling good don't ruin it lol when is the last t...

Thank God that I have You Living Nomad Lately I was facing problem of "rent-room". It's such a trivia thing actually. Yet I was caught up with it. The feeling of afraid to lose comfort. The feeling of not wanting to let go. I am thankful for everything, but I just can't let this one go. This place that already made me so comfortable in life, despite of all other aspects that may not be perfect. But this place is just perfect for me now. That's all I can think of. And knowing that I might lose it, just enough to make me anxious. I am not asking for much. I also not doing many extravagant things, or really that consumerist. I am just asking for this, one place, to stay.  It has the fresh air, balcony, spacious, quite tidy and clean space. It is lovely and enough for me, yet fate telling me other thing. I can't stay, no more. I repeatedly tell myself "nothing goes forever" "you own nothing from the first place" "you have nothing, not even...

She is now typing in an old laptop, waiting for her online class, where she is actually,...the student. The concept of self may vary in human’s opinion. One perceives themselves in different way. Maybe from the characters, from the occupations, responsibilities, age, etc. While me, myself, currently trying to find it out for the real   crystall clear. I think... I am creative, humorous, cheerful person. That’s the strength I believe. The weaknesses are so many, but let’s try not to focus on that. Now, I am asking to myself, how can I be this humorous, creative, cheerful person? What makes me this? environment? My mum? gene? Friends? Where does this characters come from? Allah?. Yep, everything is created by Allah, including the characters, physical body, characters, skill, mind-processing brain, completely everything. Then, why did Alah gave me this character? Does it suit my-idk-soul profile? Well, all I know is when we are still souls we already have those characteristics...

Now I know that I am a human. I was born more than twenty years ago. Wow. I mean, that sounds like a long time, yet I felt like I just born. Ha. I was born in an island in east part, but then my parents moved to the west side and stayed permanently. I grew up. Many things happened on my childhood that I am not proud of, but also what I’m proud of. Proud. Hmm, interesting word. We’ll talk about it later. And then, after some life experience, I went into schools, university, even took job in a company, resigned, traveled, took freelance, and here I am now. That’s it. Well, it surely doesn’t feel like years. But what I am surprised at, is that how short it feels like. They say hundred years in dunya is one day in kubr (grave). Well, imagining I am laying on the ground doing nothing inside a grave for hundred years sure scares me. I can’t even stay in the same room for more than 5 days. It’s interesting how we perceive time in our own life-timeline. Some days felt so long to be over. Some ...

Who am I? I am a human, a creation, created by the Creator. What am I doing here? And, really? am I really a human, and does it really true, that I am created? Not just popped up randomly from my mum womb? Ofcourse not. Now what do I believe in, what did I see? So many questions that actually a bit late to ask now. but it’s never too late to start neither continue. They said, I am actually a “paradise resident”. But maybe non-permanent, since Adam. Why? Well, I am thinking of story of Adam and way long before he was born. It all makes sense, actually, but the questions and doubts and forgetness just kept on distracting. So, in short, all creations live happily ever, even jinn. But once, Allah announced that He will create the best creation, human, Adam. But jinn refused Adam, envy him so much. Adam lived with Hawa in paradise, forbidden to eat a fruit. But jinn lure Adam to disobey Allah. Adam did. Allah is The All-Knowing, then Adam and Hawa repent, but then Allah told Adam to sta...

It all started last year. I am on hijrah journey. My friend already mentioned about Bengkel Diri hundred times, yet it takes a year for me to really take the class. And it's the best decision I've made. Sure I like short booster, vids, posts on reminder, about Islam. But what I need more is a system. A continuous learning, for me to understand from basic to terrific. So, here I am, completed level 1, and now in the end of level 2.  I am really grateful to be able to join the classes, with astonishing topics, masyaAllah. This is a really huge hidayah.  I strongly suggest you to join the class @bengkeldiri . It is a worth-it investation,  both for dunya wal akhirah. :) --- No word can describe. No cure to prescribe. Just need u to subscribe :]

Once you have tasted what Hijra feels like. You will crave for it again. Yet, it is  not that easy. I’ve been following the steps of misguided, who put me in this situation. Little by little, his steps just made me fall further, until I did the same things as I was before Hijra. That I could never think of. Like, you don’t expect it to be like this. But it happened. It is scary. Not the bad guy. Instead, how unstable we are without firm grip. But again, it all their plans all along. I must be smarter than them. In the end, they couldn’t do anything, the just whisper. And that’s the real battle. Imagine yourself, having enemies. It could be an old annoying friend. Or your ex’s ex. Or anyone who you hate just too much. There could be a reason behind it, or there isn’t. But you know exactly, you don’t like these people. Even worse, you want to destroy them. You want them to suffer. You want them to feel pain eternally, for maybe what they did to you, or other reason. This bad guy ...