The Refinement

How to say it...

You might think that I am crazy. Cold-stoned heart. I regret for what I did. I didn’t trust anyone. I couldn’t trust anyone. Eventhough I knew, the new page is possible, and permitted. Still, I look behind, and judge. Not knowing what is the truth for real, is a mystery. But that wasn’t important. So what, if people lie to you. So what, if people betray you. S what, if people ended up hurt you. Isn’t that normal?

No one could give pure love. No one could be best in forgiving. No one not ever judging you. People always do that. And they will always do. Because they are humans. The One who will never do that, is God. That is why, the only one place your heart should be placed to is to Him. Because, He never betrays you, He loves you too much, He forgive and forgot, even He gave blessing for whomever who wants to come back. What’s there more to ask for?

We put our trust in people. We put our hearts in human. We give everything for this world. But we always get disappointed. Yet, the truly outcome that will never disappoint, is when we put hope to God. Yet, why is it so hard to put trust into God? To let ourselves drown in His paradise.

First, Instant gratification. We tend to seek instant pleasure to make ourselves feel good. Since praying, reciting holy book, doesn;t seem compelling enough for us. Then we did not choose that as our “mood booster” that keep us going on in our life. Instead, we choose romance in human partner”, “partying” and hanging out with friends till late.  

Second, absent-minded life flowing like water. As we just realized, we are already old. Time passed by. What we spent in our life just passed in a blink of an eye. How can it happen? How did it ended up here? What am I doing here? What am I doing now? How should I be living from now on? So many questions on my mind, keep asking me the whole time. And again, I numb my mind, keep it shut, make it goes away, for a while. Let myself drown in calm comfortable yet dangerous sea. I am drowning.

Lastly, lack of self control. As we know, the biggest enemy we face is ourself. How can we control ourself to get back to logic. How can we pull back negative desires. The more genius you are, you might need to fight yourself harder. You have so many excuses, plans to not getting to do what you have to do, perhaps. It keeps on beating you up. But everything has its own ups and downs. The more considerations you make, the more you doubt many things. And then, left without nothing in your hand. None. Zero

The refinement meant to be a small new bright light. When we try to ask ourselves. Then let the honest answers flowing in, isn’t it beautiful?