Being Honest

It’s pretty clear that being honest is hard for everybody. From the simplest to the most complicated situation we are facing. All the time, we are forced to be true to ourself, or deceive it. We know exactly the right thing to do, the best thing for ouselves, the decision we should have made. But in the end, we just... lie.

The Biggest Lie

Lie to The Greatest, our God. Yet, it can not be called lie, I guess, since there is nothing can be hidden from His knowing. He is All Knowing, even what’s in our heart. We might not even know. Then, what is it called, if it can’t be considered as lies? Rebellion? Abundance? Hmm, I don’t know for sure. What’s clear on the table is, we are not doing what we supposed to do. Some sort of miscarriage in taking decision. And maybe it is related to lies.

Lie to ourselves. We know we have to pray, as we believed in. But we deceived ourselves into not doing it. We know that is a poison, but we drink it anyway, just for the sake of temporary pleasure. We maybe not really ‘believe’ in its real impact (which actually known beforehand). We kinda deceive ourselves, fool ourselves, saying it is OK to drink now, it is OK. We numb our own logic mind. In another case, we also numb our feeling. We know it is wrong to hurt someone’s feeling. But for the sake of short pleasure, we lure other person into giving us short pleasurable fantasy. In the end, we might think he/she is the one who got hurt, the one in loss. While actually, we are ourselves, the one in most painful feeling. Cause we lie to ourselves. And that hurts. Living in lies, unstability of mind, intranquility, regrets, hatred, is not our ‘on-default’ setting which planted in our body, heart, and soul.

We tend to follow our fitrah, default setting of a human, and that is, being kind, honest, being a good creation. Once, it is overriden by nafs, desire-bad desire, it will leave a black spot in our heart, mind, and soul. Little by little, evertime we lie to ourself, going away from what we were made to be, there will be a failure in our system. Those black dirty spots destroys the organs. We lie, deceive, and numb ourself, pretend as if we were right, as if it is OK. Yet, the black became a huge solid rock in our heart. In the end, it stops functioning. We no longer sad looking at someone getting hurt. We no longer cry watching our loved ones sad by our words. We no longer feel sympathy for someone who died. We do terrible things without any regrets. We kill our own feeling. Till it dies. inside. Cold-hearted. Then what’s left there? Isn’t it scary? Having the dark-coldd-rock in your body. It’s never gonna be a comfortable life. Do we wanna live the life like that?

Lie to Who

Lie to people. We think we have liabilities. To other people that known us, that we gave them our images. We want to be seen good. We want to be seen fine. We want to be seen...blablablabla. Well, it is not to encourage you to show up as you are in bad way. It’s just that, striving to be as good as it is who you are. People judgement in the end dont matter at all. Their hatred, their love, won’t save us from the hellfire. And, that’s what the real matter thing actually is. The afterlife. Yes, their words affect us. Their attitudes, their wrongdoings, all affect our life, our mind, heart, feeling, etc. But you have full control and clear logic and heart to make a decision. To choose on how to respond on their acts. And we don’t have to be so worry about mistakes or wrongdoings we might make now or in the future.

The system is, are you willing to strive? To give your best shot? To make an effort? in being honest with yourself. Cleaning our own heart, maybe it is too hard for now. But overtime, at least there is still time, to move on, move up, and going back to who we used to be. A nice, kind, honest person. How not to give a f ? By giving a f to something that is truly important. You have your consentration, your mind will keep on working, your heart goes on pumping feeling. The thing is, will we let ourself drown into temporary desires which leads to catastrophe for ourselves? Or make the best effort in fighting our biggest enemy, the bad desires, and try to be honest, more honest, until we reach our time, where there is nothing to hide, anymore.